Back from the dead...

well.....I have just got my computer back for the first time in 7 months. wow. it's been a long time without you little lady.....and such a long and torturous time of not being able to blog freely. I'm sorry my sweet Cassy fox. Have no fear...I AM BACK! well, actually as I drained my bank account in getting this sweet little thing out of the shop, I have no money to start up a internet connection to my little apartment tucked in here in this beautiful little city.  I spent $10 to buy 24 hrs worth of service from some rediculous company..... so here goes....24 hrs of straight blogging!!!

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He's so amazing and he has brought more laughter and genuine smiles to my life in the past month than I knew was even possible. He makes my face smile to the point of achy-ness, and he sees the goodness and the humor than not everyone else gets. He just makes everything in life quite a bit more beautiful and amazing..... And I'm do grateful for that.

be free my little fox.

Your sweetness and friendship makes my heart swell. I'm sorry my new little home is computer free and my moments of blogging are simply unexistant these days. I wish i could show you my life. i wish i could show you the world. I wish i could hug your little snag face right now. I wish i could take all the bad in this world away from you. Have a beautiful trip little girl. be free. be wild. be the little lady i know you've always dreamed of as you travel this beautiful world. You know now more than ever....im yours, and im yours forever with love. I love you crazy little fox.

forgivness

I will be able to forgive and forget....I know I will. I know because I know that sometimes people do and say things that they dont really mean. I know that we as humans go through so much in life....ups and downs....different stages and sometimes we do actions that are not us, we are humans and we all make mistakes. I have made plenty. That is life. I believe in the power of communication and honesty more and more every day of this life. that alone will overcome anything. I hope one day you will take the step to opening up the communication lines again. My heart still hurts. today especially.....

But I will forgive you my dear friend, I can assure you that.

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Breds

On Monday night I got a text, a beautiful text. It was from my best friend in Eugene..... he said

"Salem dutch bros. 1pm. tomorrow?"

my response: "I'll see you there."

And at 1pm yesterday I pulled into the dutch bros parking lot in Salem OR only to find my best friend in the world, my soul, my life partner sitting on a bench with a smile so big it could blind you. We drove way out in the country side we walked miles and miles through a vineyard that was absolutly mind blowing. We were the only people in the world it seemed. We laughed untill our sides ached, we cried, and we stared at one another in silence....and we were pouring over our tops with gratitude for such a beautiful friendship. He has me and I have him, and with that we will always feel alive. I will never go a day in my life without smiling, as long as I have my Breds by my side. And I am certain that I always will. 5 years down, forever to go.

stay strong..

Today is one of those days when I have to try a little harder than usual to see all the beauty that this life and this world has to offer me. My heart hurts. Someone hurt it and I will absolutely be just fine. I will. I'm such a strong woman, and I am such a good friend to the people who are truly deserving of it....every so often you put that little bit extra into someone who just simply doesn't realize how good it is, and maybe just doesn't deserve it as much right now. I feel so thankful that one very strong quality i have is the ability to forgive and stay optimistic. I have so much love for him and I always will be there to support certain things in his life.....but u did hurt my heart a little. But Ill be fine.

"i love you, and i know you, and you’re a different person than you think you are. bigger and wilder and nicer. your heart is the best heart in town. can you please remember that?" Merissa de los Santos

the peacock

Halloween is such an amazing holiday. Every year i stress a bit about a costume idea, yet I always seem to pull together something pretty creative last minute. This year I made a peacock costume! All I did that day was work a 14 hr shift, but we were sooooo busy and I basically got to people/costume watch all day! What did everyone else do?