newness

Some of the new beautiful things I have recently been blessed with in my life.

1.The base piece to my very first tattoo!

I am adding some flowers to it soon, all influenced by this Gorgia O'Keefe painting. My skull is obviously a little different, because the one that I got is the actual skull from the Montana state seal.....my homeland!

2. A beautiful cozy little studio apartment tucked into the heart of downtown Portland!

all I have is the picture i took on my phone..... but you get the idea....its my sanity and happy place.

3. I have been seeing a new guy....and he is just so dope.

He makes me laugh more than I knew another person ever could....and he is creative and he listens and pays attention to the little things....and when im hanging out with him, well i just smile a lot.....and I just feel good. Everything is just so much more fun when we are together.....I have more fun doing little things than i ever had at a grown up age.

The sun has been shining and the weather is warming up and I feel so happy these beautiful days lately. I have some beautiful friendships that have and will continue to withstand anything....

he and I took our bikes out for the first time of the year and i could just feel in my hair and smell in the air that I have one beautiful summer comming my way.

my existence

I woke up this morning after one of those life changing nights of sleep. I made my tea out of lavender and mint from my very own yard, I watered my plants, I ate a banana....and I walked down to Powells where i set my soul free for 3 1/2 hours. I bought 2 new books. A novel by Marisa De Los Santos that I will share mofe information about when I am done reading it. I also bought Eat play love by Elizabeth Gilbert which i have heard so much about for so long I had to just get it and im ecstatic to read it! My dad called and he asked about my bookstore trip and I told him what the book was about and he said "oh great, another inspiration for you to do what i've come to accept you will inevitably do at some point in your life.

Anyway. It's rained off and on al day and I have been sitting here with my blanket wrapped around my shoulders and I have read, then wrote for a bit, then read a bit more, made a bit more tea, wrote a teeny bit, then read quite a bit more. My room is my own palace. All i have is my beautiful life and my mental picture machine (a wise man once called it)....and I am one of the luckiest people alive.

simple reminders...

-take in all the little pieces of advice in life....there is more of it around you, right there before your eyes. You just have to see it, and take it all in.

my trip to an oasis of serinity

This is such a beautiful whimsicle of a life i am creating and falling to for myself. It has been such a beautiful week for me. Remember my last post? Well on Sunday night I escaped everything but love and warmth and went to his home, his oasis of serinity. My bones were no longer cold, my skin was no longer dry or untouched, my soul no longer felt lost. His fingers through my hair and on every single inch of my skin....woke up at 2pm the next day with a delightful breakfast made and placed on my lap, and an afternoon of music making,sweet summer kisses, and frisbee games. That evening brought the same...i never turned my phone on, i never had any worries.....it was beautiful. The girls were there the whole time as well showering me with all the love I could have ever imagined to get from friends. I woke up after a 40hr straight dreamland of all this and accepted and recapped it all in my mind on the I-5 corridor.....i had to go to my mother ocean. And I did, and she wrapped her big beautiful arms around me and swollowed me in. I jumped in and washed the sweet kisses off my skin as the sun set behind her. It was truly so beautiful...words will never be able to describe the beautiful way i began this lovely week.

I've fallen in love, and it feels lovely.

I may hold the world record for finding true love so quickly upon moving to a new place. I have met so many beautiful people in the month I have lived in Portland, but more so than anything I have found 3 very special people who I can so confidently believe that we were all placed in this universe to spend our lives together. We just had our one week friendship anniversary yesterday, which absolutly blows my mind. Andrew and Angie and myself have traveled to the beach and back and traveled deep into the depths of eachothers life faster than I ever have with any one other person in my life. A drop of rain fell from the sky the other night and then one fell from my eye with sadness that the three of us would not be able to crawl into our beautiful little nest bed of down fluffy blankets we had made in my backyard. We curled up together for 6 nights straight under a blanket of stars in the sky....and every morning I woke up not remembering falling asleep, just remembered laughing and smiling and then all of the sudden it was morning. I love my new life, I love my new friends. I am the luckiest girl in the world, and Portland is and will forever be my home. It is true beautiful peace here.

a feeling of motherhood

I have put so much time and devotion and love into my yard, and most of all the many many rose bushes that fill my yard. Well the rewarding time and season of my new babies comming to life is here!!!! I MIGHT have a total of 15 flowers that are bloomed in my yard, and there is probably a total of about 1,500 that should bloom over the next couple weeks.(and no, that is NOT an exageration) Anyway i can't began to explain how powerfully wonderful it makes me feel inside to finally see some of my many children that I have devoted myself to finally come to life.

my new creation and my new palace...

I don't understand what exactly it is that I did in this lifetime of mine to deserve this beautiful life and this beautiful home that I have got for myself. I have put every free moment I have into my new palace that I am crazy in love with. I have not wrote in so long, partly because I have enjoyed so much of my free time with my new best friend.....my yard, my garden. My new yard is peace. Complete peace is harder to find than you may think. But the palace and the beautifu garden I have created in my yard is something that I personally find as complete peace

Kato Mate

I have not wrote in so long because I have been in the chaotic move to Portland, and never really had internet or really 2 seconds to breathe. I feel great, i have an amazing feeling of clarity sitting here on my bed in my room that is finally all put together in this new palace I have. My last week in Eugene was something that changed me for life. It was truly the most increadable realization of how loved and lucky i really am. I was showered with beautiful momentos, cards, photos, and even a huge going away party with some of the most increadable people I have ever met, topped with some insanely lovely moments with some special portland lovers too:) I am such a lucky woman, and I feel well acomplished. Also I started at my new job today, and I just have to turn the experience into a more positive thing, which being said......it only made me really apreciate what I had in Eugene. I finally broke free those doors after my shift and fell to the ground sobbing in tears. It was terrible! anyway, kato Mate, all is well.....i am grateful

my beautifully creative little friends...

I've been so overwhelmed by the company around me lately, as I close my chapter of life in Eugene and prepare for the next one of life in Portland.  I may be one of the most blessed people in the world, due to the fact that I am surrounded by some of the most talented musicians in all of the land. And it surely isn't just a couple of my friends, but it seems to be almost every last one of them are musical genius'. A bit of whisky gets in any one of our systems and we began writing songs and playing music narrating our lives at the moment, and I am constantly in a state of shock by the hilarious and creative people I have in my life. My whole world is a crazy ambiviant whimsicle train wreck of cardboard boxes holding all of my belongings as I take on this move over these couple of days......but somehow through it all I have felt more happy, satisfied and so grateful by this beautiful life I have than usual.  My friends, my family, and my very blessed little life is so amazing. Enjoy my friend Ben singing this song to my cat, and Naima and I's star wars fight to scare away the racoons in our yard that we had last night.

PORTLAND PORTLAND PORTLAND!!!!!

Thats all that is running through my head is portland portland portland. I am so excited that this all is finalized and this move of myself from Eugene to Portland is under way! Im living in SE which is the most increadable area you could possibly be in! I live about a half of a black from this giant community paint-the-street project that the locals did that I have some pictures of. I'm so excited. I just need good luck wished upon me rather than people just feeling anry or disapointed that I am leaving. I must spread my wings and venture on. Anyone who knows me, knows that it is only right for me to keep moving on in this world, and never keep my soul trapped in one place for too long.

new beginnings

Woke up with the sun this morning early and I packed my suitcase full of jasper and knickknacks and took a beautiful sun lit drive to Portland. House hunting!!! yeah!! We had appointments to see several houses, but only ended up going to 2 because the others didn't seem up to standards from the outside. The places we looked at and did walk throughs in were lovely! absolutely lovely! I just love my sweet Portland so much and I am getting so excited to have that be my new home. I don't think that either of the places we saw today were "the one" however the search has only begun. Cheers to summer, blue skies, and new beginnings.

Life is Peace

After a very emotional draining and growing week I found myself stumbling out of work late on Thursday night beat from as long night at work and my hips hurting so bad I could cry. I met with my best friend clay and on a whim of life and all its beauty we drove together 2 hours up in the mountains to crescent lake. We found a little perch on the bank of th

e lake packed with snow and the most beautiful blanket of stars filling the sky

 that I may have ever seen before. It truly was peace. Hour after hour went by of beautiful talks and laughs about life, love, and all of its happiness. The sun rose and the sky gre more and more beautiful with every minute that went by untill 9am the next morning when we came back to homeland.  

It was truly one of the more beautiful and peaceful nights of my life. Happy the next day when I woke up to realize and remember that life really does make sense and is continuously so beautiful and fun. Peace.

Dandelions.....is peace.

I can't explain how beautiful and truly remarkable dandelions are to me. They are a symbolism of so many things to me....two main things being freedom...freedom of flight and independent and chasing or flaoting away really to the place and the things you desire and are meant to be at or due. This symbolizes my life so much right now.....just trying to remind myself to be a dandelion and do whats best for me at the end of the day. The other thing is represents to me is wishes.....which I imagine ties so much into the previous thing. Make wishes. believe in your wishes. My your wishes and dreams a reality. follow those wishes untill they become a reality. And that, and dandelions, to me is PEACE

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